Writers, Wallflowers and Wet Blankets

I’m thinking you’re a writer – maybe even a romance novelist like me – if any one or more of these tidbits is your reality (at least they convinced me I’m neurotic and a writer):

• You were the middle school-aged wallflower at The Show Biz Pizza dances every Saturday night.  The pretty-faced, friendly but chunky girl (too fat for the Jordache jeans) who everyone counted on to match them up with the boy or girl of their dreams.  Oh yeah, baby.  You were the best matchmaker in town and quickly evolved into your high school’s relationship expert even though you were the only one without a date (even for the prom).

• You keep your butt in your chair and your fingers flying across your keyboard or notebook.  It’s not an “option” for you to write.  Your stories and characters simply must get on the page.  You write because you’re that neurotic...and yes I know this is a repeater word but I happen to like it.  You write because you’re that driven.  You write because you have to write.

• You talk to your dog about your plot and pacing dilemmas because your DH (Darling Husband) is looking at you asking “are you still talking”.  To which you reply, Hell yes I am, but do you know what I just said because I think it may have been brilliant but I can’t remember?

• You have thick – and I mean thick – skin.  Rejection and the perception you’ve lost it are real bitches to battle.

But here’s the thing:  you believe in yourself even when everyone else thinks you bite the big one and are truly nuts.

When your niece and nephews introduce you as their “Crazy Aunt D. D.”, it’s one of your proudest moments.

And you use the rejection letters you receive for every submission as proof of your perseverance and excuse to over-indulge in fine chocolates and cocktails.

• Now about the donkey butts who think you’re nuts, thanks to Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, you’ve purged these “crazymakers” and “wet blankets” from your life, refusing to give the witches and donkeyholes any power over you.

Instead, you’ve found the person who believes in your neurotic genius and continues to encourage and inspire you.  You hang onto him (that’s you, Sweet Man) forever.

• You join Romance Writers of America (at the national, state and local levels as well as the online chapters that cater to your genre) and/or other professional writing organizations.  You bask in the moments you learn from and spend time with other writers who are just as neurotic as you.  (And for those of you who think you aren’t neurotic, please know you’re in denial and the rest of us are indulging in extra chocolate and cocktails in your honor.)

• You join a critique group and learn the areas of your craft that do not highlight your neurotic genius.  It’s healthy to learn that even divas of the written word can have semantic emergencies and aha-you-have-no-plot moments.

• You read, read, read.  You write crap, crap and more crap because you’ve been told you can revise crap but you can’t revise an empty page.  You diss your doubt and fear because self-effacing humor is always in – okay, maybe just the fear because you’re delirious with doubt – and continue submitting your work.

You’re writing what you love and someday soon enough -- perhaps maybe, get back with me in a couple of weeks - some agent or editor will love your work.

• You know if you give up now, all your work, your devotion, and your neurotic drive will have been a huge time suck...and you sooo don’t have time for that!

• You’re going for the gusto and writing the story of your heart because it won’t let you go until you do.  And, really people, you’re a writer, you’re neurotic, you’re supposed to be anxious, emotionally volatile, and compulsive.  So write the damn book!  Go crazy!  Oh yeah – you/we already are.

Check back often.  I’ll be posting articles on:

• my writing process
• being crowned Queen of Trashy Novel Town
• how to balance the writing itself with the business of writing and shameless promotion
• how in the heck to find an agent
• to be or not to be a contest slut
• my whatever-you-do-read-these craft book list
• my writing space
• collaging as a work in progress during your work in progress
• how letting your Sweet Man think he’s in charge of you and your career benefits your body, mind and spirit...and your checkbook too
• fine chocolates and cocktails
• does it get any better than the Gilmore Girls, Sex and the City, and Ugly Betty

And please email me regarding other topics you’d like me to dish on.